INFERTILITY.
The moment you hear that word you think the worse. Literally, a million things are going through your head. Can I still have kids? How long will it take to have a child? Could I have done something different? Do I need to change my diet? Adoption? And many more that would sound crazy to you.
Here is our story with infertility:
I always knew I wanted children. I didn't necessarily want children at a young age but I knew I wanted at least a couple children before I turned 30. In April 2012, Morgan and I decided it was time to go off birth control. We figured that even if we did get pregnant right away it still takes 9 months to make that child so we were good to go. We had time. I had been on birth control most of my teenage years and leading up to this point, about 6 years. The reason for this was because I had horrible cycles. We are talking missing school for 2 days because of bleeding and cramping. It was no good for me, very painful and uncomfortable. So I had heard that after stopping birth control it takes a few months to get on a regular cycle, well a few months passed then 5 then 6 and still absolutely no sign of a period. And I was gaining weight faster than I could get it off. But I knew I wasn't pregnant.
Fast forward to June 2013 we were moving to Southern California so Morgan could start a Masters program in teaching. I haven't gotten pregnant yet but at this point I wasn't worried. I was only 23 and figured my body just needed to get its crap together. My mom and sister convinced me to go to the doctor just to start getting tests done to see where I was. So I made the appointment and went. After an exam and blood work I got my results...
PCOS
First thought, "what the heck is that?" I had never known anyone who had that, nonetheless even heard of it. The doctor probably saw the look of confusion on my face. And explained it to me. She said I have too much estrogen, so instead of my body producing estrogen each month like it was suppose to my body was saying I have too much and wouldn't produce anymore. Basically estrogen was being stored in my fatty tissue and staying there.
Needless to say I was very, very confused. Maybe because I hadn't asked questions or just couldn't fathom that something was wrong and my body wasn't just trying to reset. I remember calling my mom and being okay then once getting off the phone I started to cry. What did this mean? I had no idea what I had or how to fix it. So the research began.
PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) is a problem in which a women's hormone are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant.
Cool... this is my life now.
Well we were moving a couple months later to Tulare so I didn't do much of a follow up. Morgan was getting deep into his program and I was busy working two jobs so starting a family was put on the back burner. And life happens. Church callings are keeping us busy. Time is going faster than I can track.
Now its the beginning of 2015 and we decide its time to really start having a family. I go to the doctor and tell them my history they decide to do some tests. Here's how the tests go, start your period start taking an ovulation test. Once you get your highest surge you go and get blood work done one week after and that blood work will let you know if you actually did ovulate. Well my first test came back negative. Alright, at least we know what the problem is and we can fix that with Clomid. I know people who have taken Clomid and saw results.
I was feeling hopeful with my first round. I'll take the pills and get blood work and it will say "Yes, you ovulated. Now make some babies!" Well it didn't. Okay... the doctor was hopeful and we can just up the dosage. Well, 3 rounds later I wasn't even showing a positive on the ovulation test anymore.
Now we are getting worried. What's going on? After talking to several people the consensus was to see a fertility specialist.
Here we go again. Another doctor to tell my medical history to and more evasive tests. First an ultrasound to see if I have any egg sacks in my ovaries. They are looking for 8-10 sacks and I had a whopping 16. I HAVE EGGS!!! Test #2 was lots of blood work. Like HUGE vials of blood to be drawn. No thank you. But I sucked it up. I figured if I'm going to have a child then blood work and needles will be involved. They check how many viable eggs you have, more hormone levels and other things I didn't understand it but they were all good.
Next test is a HSG (hysterosalpingography) a radiologic procedure to investigate the shape of the uterine cavity and the shape and patency of the Fallopian tubes. Basically they just see with an iodine if everything looks good in there. My uterus looked great. No weird shape or anything. The left Fallopian tube was flowing with the iodine which is good, that means it is open and working properly. Now the right one, not so much. It wasn't flowing like the left but it wasn't completely blocked. It was like a leaky faucet. Just a little iodine came out at a time.
Don't worry I kept my cool in front of the doctor and nurses but I did have a mini break down in the car right outside. After a few moments of allowing myself to cry, I pulled it together and thought "Okay, it's not that bad. I have one tube working and the other kind of works. Women have gotten pregnant with only one tube. I can do this!!!" So now we go to another doctor appointment to discuss our treatment options with all these new tests.
She said that with the tests we are good candidates to conceive with timing. Well obvious that wasn't working so what the next option. Clomid, been there, done that. Option three, Femara and a trigger shot.
So here we are after 6+ months of starting the medical process to start our family and we are starting our first round of Femara and hoping this will help me ovulate.
I'm writing this not to have anyone feel bad for me, I am writing this to get it off my chest. A girl I knew from high school just got pregnant and told her story of trying for years to get pregnant and it made me realize that there are other people out there going through the same thing. As much as I know my mom and sister/sister-in-laws want to sympathize with me, they haven't had these struggles and sometimes you need to talk to someone who just gets it, so I am hoping this gets to someone who is going through this and feels like no one understands. I do. It's not fun. There are good days and bad days, days where I feel like there is no hope and days where I feel optimistic, mostly I feel optimistic so that's good. But it is still the very beginning of our journey.
Like my mother said to me today "I hope this chapter in our life will come to an end and we can start a new one with a little baby." I hope so too, mom.
-Kaylee
Don't worry I kept my cool in front of the doctor and nurses but I did have a mini break down in the car right outside. After a few moments of allowing myself to cry, I pulled it together and thought "Okay, it's not that bad. I have one tube working and the other kind of works. Women have gotten pregnant with only one tube. I can do this!!!" So now we go to another doctor appointment to discuss our treatment options with all these new tests.
She said that with the tests we are good candidates to conceive with timing. Well obvious that wasn't working so what the next option. Clomid, been there, done that. Option three, Femara and a trigger shot.
So here we are after 6+ months of starting the medical process to start our family and we are starting our first round of Femara and hoping this will help me ovulate.
I'm writing this not to have anyone feel bad for me, I am writing this to get it off my chest. A girl I knew from high school just got pregnant and told her story of trying for years to get pregnant and it made me realize that there are other people out there going through the same thing. As much as I know my mom and sister/sister-in-laws want to sympathize with me, they haven't had these struggles and sometimes you need to talk to someone who just gets it, so I am hoping this gets to someone who is going through this and feels like no one understands. I do. It's not fun. There are good days and bad days, days where I feel like there is no hope and days where I feel optimistic, mostly I feel optimistic so that's good. But it is still the very beginning of our journey.
Like my mother said to me today "I hope this chapter in our life will come to an end and we can start a new one with a little baby." I hope so too, mom.
-Kaylee
