Progress is on the horizon

I ovulated you guys!!! I seriously never thought I would see the day. 

So here is the process of how we got to this point. I took 10 mgs of Femara on days 5-9 of my period and then went in for an ultrasound to see how my eggs progressed. Well, looky looky, I had two giant eggs!!! TWO!!!!!!! I about died when my doctor said I had two eggs. So since my eggs were gigantic i was able to take my trigger shot to drop them.

Let me tell you first how I feel about needles. I cannot even stand the look of them. Do you know how hard it is to give yourself a shot? Definitely not as hard as I made it out to be. But still I probably sat on my couch pinching my stomach and holding the needle for about 5 minutes trying to poke myself.

After I about had a heart attack I finally had Morgan do it for me and, of course, I didn't even feel a single thing. YAHOO!!! 

Well, after all of that and actually ovulating for the first time in my life I am not pregnant. 

Ya that is sad. I will be honest on the day they told me I could take the test I was sick to my stomach the day before which messed with my head thinking I had "morning sickness". So I took the test and it was negative so the next thing I did was get into the hot shower and just cry and pray for a solid 15 minutes. I know it broke my husbands heart to hear that but I needed a moment to myself. 

It's amazing how at the end of that day I was comforted and felt my Savior's love for me. (Sorry the get all religious) But that's how it was. I was devastated and the only thing i could think of was to pray and just ask for comfort and understanding. Well the understanding hasn't fully revealed itself to me yet but oh my goodness do I feel that comfort now and everyday. 

So the next plan is to wait for my period and start the process again. So here's to waiting a little longer.

Kaylee

Baby Making Update

So I did what I didn't want to do and not post for awhile.  Opps.

Well, nothing new on the baby front over here. We did our first round of Femara and it did nothing. I went in for my hundredth ultrasound and they said my follicle was at a 15 and they like it to be a 22.  Ideally your follicle grows at a rate of 2 per day so just a few days later i was going to be good to go to take my trigger shot and get down to business.  Well a couple days later I go in for another ultrasound and my follicle is down to a 12.

So what in the world happened? She said that the machine we used isn't as accurate as the other one so we could have just calculate wrong. 

"Okay, that's fine. I'll just wait until the end of the week." Well another ultrasound and no progression.  My doctor kept mentioning how I have a TON of eggs (which sounds good) but when you aren't ovulating then having eggs means absolutely nothing.  

So there goes another month of waiting down the drain. The hardest part about this whole process is the waiting. Its not like you can find things out right away. You are waiting and waiting and waiting for those positive tests to pop up.  

And to distract myself from this I am filling my time with coach a junior high volleyball team with my husband.  If you know me, you know that I played volleyball all thru high school and a little in college. Ya it's completely different coaching and playing. I give so much respect to my coaches now. Its fun to be on the other side though. I feel like I am understanding volleyball so much better and it's taking up a good amount of my time. 

This baby dog is taking up some time too.  It's amazing how when I am having a bad day and I go to bed she jumps right up into bed and cuddles in or lays like this on my chest. 

Morgan and I attended my best friend's wedding at the end of August and it was beautiful. The bride looked amazing. It was so great to see Trevor get married to such an amazing women. 

Until next time... hopefully soon.

Kaylee

Starting Our Family

INFERTILITY.

The moment you hear that word you think the worse. Literally, a million things are going through your head. Can I still have kids? How long will it take to have a child? Could I have done something different? Do I need to change my diet? Adoption? And many more that would sound crazy to you.

Here is our story with infertility:

I always knew I wanted children. I didn't necessarily want children at a young age but I knew I wanted at least a couple children before I turned 30. In April 2012, Morgan and I decided it was time to go off birth control.  We figured that even if we did get pregnant right away it still takes 9 months to make that child so we were good to go. We had time. I had been on birth control most of my teenage years and leading up to this point, about 6 years. The reason for this was because I had horrible cycles. We are talking missing school for 2 days because of bleeding and cramping. It was no good for me, very painful and uncomfortable. So I had heard that after stopping birth control it takes a few months to get on a regular cycle, well a few months passed then 5 then 6 and still absolutely no sign of a period. And I was gaining weight faster than I could get it off. But I knew I wasn't pregnant.

Fast forward to June 2013 we were moving to Southern California so Morgan could start a Masters program in teaching. I haven't gotten pregnant yet but at this point I wasn't worried. I was only 23 and figured my body just needed to get its crap together. My mom and sister convinced me to go to the doctor just to start getting tests done to see where I was. So I made the appointment and went. After an exam and blood work I got my results...

PCOS 

First thought, "what the heck is that?" I had never known anyone who had that, nonetheless even heard of it. The doctor probably saw the look of confusion on my face. And explained it to me. She said I have too much estrogen, so instead of my body producing estrogen each month like it was suppose to my body was saying I have too much and wouldn't produce anymore. Basically estrogen was being stored in my fatty tissue and staying there. 

Needless to say I was very, very confused. Maybe because I hadn't asked questions or just couldn't fathom that something was wrong and my body wasn't just trying to reset. I remember calling my mom and being okay then once getting off the phone I started to cry. What did this mean? I had no idea what I had or how to fix it. So the research began. 

PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) is a problem in which a women's hormone are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. 

Cool... this is my life now.

Well we were moving a couple months later to Tulare so I didn't do much of a follow up. Morgan was getting deep into his program and I was busy working two jobs so starting a family was put on the back burner. And life happens. Church callings are keeping us busy. Time is going faster than I can track.

Now its the beginning of 2015 and we decide its time to really start having a family. I go to the doctor and tell them my history they decide to do some tests. Here's how the tests go, start your period start taking an ovulation test. Once you get your highest surge you go and get blood work done one week after and that blood work will let you know if you actually did ovulate. Well my first test came back negative. Alright, at least we know what the problem is and we can fix that with Clomid. I know people who have taken Clomid and saw results. 

I was feeling hopeful with my first round. I'll take the pills and get blood work and it will say "Yes, you ovulated. Now make some babies!" Well it didn't. Okay... the doctor was hopeful and we can just up the dosage. Well, 3 rounds later I wasn't even showing a positive on the ovulation test anymore.

Now we are getting worried. What's going on? After talking to several people the consensus was to see a fertility specialist. 

Here we go again. Another doctor to tell my medical history to and more evasive tests. First an ultrasound to see if I have any egg sacks in my ovaries. They are looking for 8-10 sacks and I had a whopping 16. I HAVE EGGS!!! Test #2 was lots of blood work. Like HUGE vials of blood to be drawn. No thank you. But I sucked it up. I figured if I'm going to have a child then blood work and needles will be involved. They check how many viable eggs you have, more hormone levels and other things I didn't understand it but they were all good. 

Next test is a HSG (hysterosalpingography) a radiologic procedure to investigate the shape of the uterine cavity and the shape and patency of the Fallopian tubes. Basically they just see with an iodine if everything looks good in there. My uterus looked great. No weird shape or anything. The left Fallopian tube was flowing with the iodine which is good, that means it is open and working properly. Now the right one, not so much. It wasn't flowing like the left but it wasn't completely blocked. It was like a leaky faucet. Just a little iodine came out at a time.
Don't worry I kept my cool in front of the doctor and nurses but I did have a mini break down in the car right outside. After a few moments of allowing myself to cry, I pulled it together and thought "Okay, it's not that bad. I have one tube working and the other kind of works. Women have gotten pregnant with only one tube. I can do this!!!" So now we go to another doctor appointment to discuss our treatment options with all these new tests.
She said that with the tests we are good candidates to conceive with timing. Well obvious that wasn't working so what the next option. Clomid, been there, done that. Option three, Femara and a trigger shot.

So here we are after 6+ months of starting the medical process to start our family and we are starting our first round of Femara and hoping this will help me ovulate.

I'm writing this not to have anyone feel bad for me, I am writing this to get it off my chest. A girl I knew from high school just got pregnant and told her story of trying for years to get pregnant and it made me realize that there are other people out there going through the same thing. As much as I know my mom and sister/sister-in-laws want to sympathize with me, they haven't had these struggles and sometimes you need to talk to someone who just gets it, so I am hoping this gets to someone who is going through this and feels like no one understands. I do. It's not fun. There are good days and bad days, days where I feel like there is no hope and days where I feel optimistic, mostly I feel optimistic so that's good. But it is still the very beginning of our journey.
Like my mother said to me today "I hope this chapter in our life will come to an end and we can start a new one with a little baby." I hope so too, mom.

-Kaylee

Life... As of Lately

Adulthood... blah. Let's be real for a second. I have had every intention to write in the blog. Not about something specific but just everything. My feelings, experiences, trips, family, style, home, DIY, basically this was going to be my journal. And to be honest I wasn't going to write about EVERYTHING but I feel it necessary to be real and honest. And if anyone else has suggestions or similar things they have been dealing with we can all benefit.

These pictures were taken awhile ago. The top back in November of 2014. It was for the Taylor Family Portrait so we decided to capitalize on the situation and take our own pictures for Christmas. It is probably one of my favorites because I loved our outfits. And Morgan looks dang good. 

So back in April we went to San Francisco with Morgan's family to go to a Giants game. Anytime we are with family is a good time to me.  There is always someone to talk to and someone to hang out with. 

So lately, we have been super busy. Starting our careers and a family (more on that later) and adjusting to a new dog in our family. It is seriously a huge change getting a dog. I love it and I love her. She has become my world. Her is a family picture. 

That's all for now folks.

Please someone hold me accountable for writing in this. 

-Kaylee